Friday, September 03, 2010
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FaithWalk
I slipped
into his room late one evening as I arrived home from work so that I could give
him a goodnight snuggle and a kiss, only to find him wide awake. "Hey Dad,
it's Wednesday!" my 12-year-old said. "Tonight was our date night,
Dad! You forgot!"
Somewhere
between the deadlines and the meetings and the to-do list, I'd forgotten the
most important ministry God had entrusted to me: my family. It had also been
weeks since my wife and I had a date together, and I knew things needed to
change - and fast. Instead of focusing on work, I needed to focus on my family
and let them know they were just as important as my work and my ministry.
We set out
to meet our work goals and somehow in the midst of it all, we forget that
waiting at home is that young boy wanting to play catch, that teenage girl who
needs to talk about boys, or that spouse that needs to be treated with all the
attention we used to give when we were dating. Why does it happen? How does it
happen? How can you prevent it from happening to you?
Let me ask
you this: if you and I were sitting at that
Well,
before the coffee gets cold and we both need to run, here are ten ideas to help
you as you strive to balance your work and your family. Got a pen? Jot 'em down
on your napkin.
1.
Get your family together and craft a family mission statement. It's just as
important to be intentional as a family as it is in the workplace. We wanted
our family to all be on the same page in terms of our life purposes and the
principles that would govern our time together. Need a head start? Here's our
family mission statement:
Our
family is going through life's journey together, growing roots in
We've designed
other elements of this mission statement into the shape of a house, with walls
of laughter, doors of prayer and windows of other important character
qualities.
2.
Carve out time for your family each week…in advance. Put it on your
calendar. Stop saying you have to get one more thing done before you leave for
home. Plan your week with specific ending times and stick to them.
3.
Jettison things from your schedule that aren't important. March to the
mission that
4.
If your work situation requires constant excessive hours to get the job done,
it's time to evaluate other ways to accomplish the task. You can't
accomplish the mission of the organization single-handedly, so stop trying!
Pray for the Lord to send workers into your harvest field and then sit back and
watch Him go to work. Pray for supernatural results from the time you do put
into your day, then go home and be a minister in the other mission field God
gave you…your family.
5.
If you're a leader of others, have them actually write into their job
descriptions the need to be committed to their family and specific ways in
which they will make this a priority.
6.
Develop an activity together with your family as a whole, and/or with
individual family members. Maybe it's hiking, a date at Denny's for
breakfast on Saturday, or coffee and prayer with your spouse each day. As you
do this, remember that teachable moments are almost like 'intentional
accidents': they happen, but not always because you planned them. So be sure to
plan large quantities of time with your family throughout the year so they'll
have a chance to occur.
7.
Create a 'spiritual life development plan' for each of your kids, outlining
their strengths, their areas for improvement and your plans to shape their
character as they grow up under your care. Our children are
arrows that are being released into a world that we will never fully see. It's
our job to shape them into arrows that will fly straight and travel the
distance to the kingdom target that God has intended for them.
8.
Schedule a date night of at least an hour once a week with each child and your
spouse, where you focus solely on them. It doesn't have to be expensive;
time is the critical ingredient here. When our budget has been tight, I've had
this time in my backyard with my son.
9.
When you're traveling, send an email or a postcard back to your family. Call them on the
phone and pray with them, in addition to chatting.
10.
At the end of a day, ask your kids and spouse these three questions: 'What happened
today that you're proud of?' 'What happened today that you wish you could do
over?' 'Where did you see God in your day today?'
If
your spouse or children were to describe how your performance as a spouse and
parent, what would they say? If you're not happy with the words that are
echoing around in your head, it's time to make some changes. I love how
"Hey
Dad! I passed!" exclaimed my 15-year-old girl. You see, I'm writing this
morning from the Department of Motor Vehicles waiting room, where I came with
my daughter to get her driving permit. Some days you just can't achieve
balance, so lately I've been working on integration - aren't laptops wonderful?
As my daughter and I celebrated her passing the test with a big hug in the
lobby, I was glad I'd decided the to-do list at work could wait. The memory of
this morning with her will last forever.
Used by
permission of FamilyLife
Canada. Copyright 2003.
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